Top of the Pops may have finished in 2006 but every year it comes back for Christmas. If you missed the Christmas day episode this year you can watch it on iplayer here. Alternatively, here is a summary of what happened:
Jess Glynne - I'll Be There
Jess Glynne was introduced as someone who has had 7 number ones and a very high number of streams. This is the latest of those and it's a rather boring song with lot's of whining. How she's had 7 number ones I don't know, though being a featured vocalist on other peoples songs on 4 of them must help.
Clean Bandit - Solo
It's the band who gave Jess Glynne her first number one. They consist of a drummer, keyboard player and cellist but no singer. Unfortunately they always seem to have a featured vocalist on their songs. The vocalist on this particular song, Demi Lovato, hasn't turned up so they have two random vocalists in her place and it hasn't made the slightest bit of difference.
Jax Jones - Breathe
Another random singer on this song as vocalist Ina Wroldsen hasn't turned up. Jax Jones alternates between playing the keyboard and drums whilst the music itself still sounds the same. Then he starts playing a bass guitar, and the music still sounds the same.
Zara Larsson - Ruin My Life
Rihanna looks different to when I last saw her, oh hang on, this isn't Rihanna it's Zara Larsson. This is apparently a special Christmas version of the song, basically a few random bells have been put in. I will say the last 2 songs were an improvement on Jess Glynne but this is just as bad.
Top 10 records of 2018 part 1
10.Dua Lipa - IDGAF
9.Portugal the Man - Feel It Still
8.Geroge Ezra - Paradise
7.Drake - Nice For What
6.Ed Sheeran - Perfect
Drake and Ed Sheeran in the Top 10, who'd have thought?
Years & Years - If You're Over Me
Where's the singer? oh here he is making a grand entrance. Sounds like a computer game with singing over the top.
Tom Walker - Leave a Light On
Ever wondered what happened to Rag n Bone Man? Looks like he's changed his name to Tom Walker. Why weren't the string section allowed on the stage?
Keala Settle - This Is Me
Apparently she did a legendary performance of this on the Graham Norton show so they showed that very performance. Not very legendary at all, just her singing a dreary song in the dark before every man and his dog appears on the stage.
Rita Ora - Let You Love Me
Oh no it's the god awful Rita Ora singing about letting you love her. Not much chance of me ever loving her that's for sure. Shittest song so far.
Freya Ridings - Lost Without You
That's better, a singer at the piano and nobody else on the stage. Shame the song is rather dull.
Top 10 records of 2018 part 2
5.Keale Settle - This Is Me
4.Rudimental, Jess Glynne, Macklemore & Dan Caplen - These Days
3.George Ezra - Shotgun
2.Calvin Harris & Dua Lipa - One Kiss
1.Drake - Gods Plan
They made us wait for the Top 5 but now the wait is over, at number one is Drake.
Sigrid - Strangers
I honestly though Sigrid was an EDM DJ but turns out it's a female singer.
Jonas Blue, Liam Payne & Lennon Stella - Polaroid
Jonas Blue is the king of collaborations apparently, must be because he managed to get his collaborators to turn up, though it took Lennon Stella a while to get out on stage.
Rudimental, Jess Glynne & Dan Caplen - These Days
Rudimental on the other hand couldn't get Macklemore to turn up but they managed to get the other two there, it helped that one of them appeared on the show earlier. A lot of people on the stage, which ones are Rudimental is anyone's guess, but presumably the one who said "Happy Christmas" at the end is one of them.
George Ezra - Shotgun
There was no way they were not going to have him on the show they said, I guess without Drake or Calvin Harris turning up to play the two best selling/streaming/whatever else counts records not getting George Ezra would just be embarrassing.
Ladbaby - We Built This City
The moment we've been waiting for, the Christmas number one. None of the presenters told us what it was though. It's a piss take of the Starship song of the same name but I enjoyed this one more than the rest of the crap on the show.
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