Friday 29 December 2023

Top 30 in 1996 Reviewed: Week 52

Here's my weekly look at the Top 30 from 27 years ago. The plan is for these posts to go out at 17:30 on a Friday.

Here is the Top 40 in full.

Obviously some of the records will be the same as last week so therefore the review will be the same for these. I've indicated which ones are new so you can skip the others if you read last weeks post.

Once again my opinions are inevitably going to differ from other people, but I'm not trying to convince anyone something is good or rubbish, I'm simply giving my opinion.

So this is the top 30 from this week in 1996 with my verdict on each record:


It had been a year since The Mike Flowers Pops had been aiming for Christmas number one with his version of "Wonderwall". Now here he is doing the same again with his version of "Don't Cry For Me Argentina". That didn't work so well, least of all because the song he was covering was an old song in the first place. I will concede the "Macarena" bit he adds in but singing "Argentina" instead was funny, but aside from that it's poor. 

Verdict - Rubbish


I vaguely remember Liv Tyler getting married to a musician from Leeds who I'd never heard of. Royston Langdon, the singer of Spacehog was the musician in question. They formed in America but it's members are English. It's actually a pretty decent record, the only Top 40 hit for the band.

Verdict - Good


This was the lead single from Snoop Dogg's 2nd album "Tha Doggfather". It samples "Oops Upside Your Head" by the Gap Band and features Charlie Wilson from the Gap Band himself. It also became his highest charting Top 40 hit to that point. You can't go wrong with a bit of classic Snoop Dogg.

Verdict - Good


On paper this should be a strange record as it's an odd collaboration. In reality though it just sounds like your typical Elton John record the the odd bit of singing from Pavarotti. It's pretty forgettable too, bit of a non-entity music wise.

Verdict - Rubbish


Robson & Jerome had a total of 3 Top 40 hits and they all reached number one. This was the final one of those hits. Like it's predecessors, it's a cover and it's rubbish. To be fair they knew there time was probably up after this so called it a day.

Verdict - Rubbish


The Fugees narrowly missed out on making it 3 number ones in a row. They're showing that they can do multiple genres of music with this Bob Marley cover. It's definitely up there amongst the best covers ever and even as someone exclusively listening to rave at the time I couldn't deny how much I liked this record.

Verdict - Good


At the time I remember hearing that Babybird was a really prolific songwriter who'd written hundreds of songs. For many though, this is the only song of his they remember. It's a record I remember being out around the same time as "Breakfast At Tiffany's". It's not as crap, but is still crap.

Verdict - Rubbish


The 4th Top 40 hit for the Lighthouse Family. This is a lot less soothing that their previous 3 hits. In fact it's not very soothing at all and as a result isn't as good. It may have worked with a different backing track but the combination doesn't work here.

Verdict - Rubbish


This was the Top 40 debut for Chicane, though he had been in the Top 40 the previous year as Disco Citizens. I must admit I don't remember this one being at the end of the year as it's very much a summer tune. Then again I may have heard it long before it charted. It's one of those tunes you can chill out to or dance to.

Verdict - Good


A second chart topper for Peter Andre that wasn't "Mysterious Girl". This is quite possibly the most obscure number one of the 90s. I do remember it and remember thinking it was depressing. A blatant rip off of every other dreary ballad.

Verdict - Rubbish


The Warren G I was most familiar with in 1996 was the drum & bass MC who would regularly MC for DJ SS. There was of course an American rapper of the same name and this was his joint biggest hit. With the interpolation and the fact it was on a movie soundtrack means it was supposed to be commercial, but it's done really well. I can appreciate this a lot more now than I did at the time.

Verdict - Good


At the time this sounded so futuristic when he sang the opening line about a Saturday in 1999. Obviously that's well in the past now, but if someone sang about a Saturday in 2026 now I'd almost question whether I blinked and we were in 2026 already. If only music remaining as good as this into the future.

Verdict - Good


A lot of boy band songs are crap and many of them are supposed to be. At the same time though, several boy bands have one decent song in their back catalogue and this is the one for 3T. It's a cover of an Eric Carmen song, but is produced by Denniz Pop and Max Martin so would have been carefully crafted to be easy on the ears.

Verdict - Good


Once again I'm going to talk about "The Noise" with Andi Peters. This was when it became apparent that The Spice Girls weren't going to be one hit wonders. They exclusively showed the video to the new Spice Girls single. It's not as bad as their debut, that's the only positive thing I can say about it.

Verdict - Rubbish


This record was released to promote East 17s greatest hits album. To show they weren't planning on splitting up any time soon they put in the reference "The Journey So Far", but we all know what happened next. As with pretty much all the East 17 singles, I like it.

Verdict - Good


Here's Whitney Houston with yet another song taken from a movie. This time it's "The Preachers Wife" which Whitney Houston was also in herself. It's a cover of an Annie Lennox record. There was also a happy hardcore version of this which I thought was dreadful, much like what I think of this.

Verdict - Rubbish


The intro to this record features vocals by a then unknown Dido who is the sister of Faithless member Rollo. After the release of "Insomnia" a couple of months prior I was ready for the Maxi Jazz rapping this time. Again the way it breaks down for the Maxi Jazz vocals is fantastic and then the complete change in sound when the beat kicks in following the vocals just makes the tune. I bought this single as well.

Verdict - Good


The final Top 40 hit to date for The Smurfs. One of those records that's awful, but that's the point. It's long forgotten now though, not a Christmas record you always hear at Christmas.

Verdict - Rubbish


The Woolpackers were 3 actors from Emmerdale who were named after the pub that features in the soap. As you can probably predict then, this is cheesy and shit. It's a line dancing record, something myself and many others used to take the piss out of.

Verdict - Rubbish


This was the 2nd Top 40 hit for Damage who opted not to wait for their 3rd hit to release a ballad. More significantly though this was the first Top 40 hit penned by the partnership of Steve Mac and Wayne Hector, the songwriting duo behind many of Westlife's hits. It sounds like it could have been a Westlife hit as well.

Verdict - Rubbish


Swearing in music was nothing unusual in the 90s but this record became most famous for its swearing. I guess it's because it wasn't the style of music you'd expect swearing in. The whole appeal of The Beautiful South is the lyrics but the lyrics were generally easy to ignore so they probably put the swearing in to grab peoples attention. It probably worked, but I can't say I think much to this record.

Verdict - Rubbish


Eric Carmen only had one Top 40 hit in the UK which was with this record, but he had covers of 2 of his records in the Top 40 at the same time in 1996 with the other being "I Need You" by 3T. It's Celine Dion doing what she does best, dreary ballads. 

Verdict - Rubbish


This was one of those records that I didn't really want to like but I couldn't help but like it. Mark Morrison may only be remembered for one song now, but this was pretty big at the time. Another thing I remember around this time was Mark Morrison being the Wanker of the Week on The Girlie Show, the only feature worth watching on that show truth be told.

Verdict - Good


When The Prodigy did "Firestarter" earlier on in the year after much excitement of a new Prodigy tune it was a big disappointment. However, despite follow up "Breathe" taking a similar direction I actually like this one and bought the single. It's the beats that really do it for me.

Verdict - Good


Boyzone waited for nearly 2 years to get their first number one, then two come along at once. They've gone for an African style pop song this time and it's every bit as awful as that sounds. It's up there amongst the obscure number ones of the 90s.

Verdict - Rubbish


After having 2 big hits that were both instrumentals, Robert Miles did the unthinkable and released a record with a vocalist. I remember at the time thinking what are you doing having a vocalist on your record. The vocals have always annoyed me so on that basis this gets half a mark.

Verdict - OK


After having all 5 of her previous Top 40 hits written by Babyface, Toni Braxton turned to prolific songwriter Diane Warren for her 6th. It worked as this became her joint highest charting Top 40 hit, but often in order to achieve popularity you have to compromise on quality and this is what's happened here in my opinion. 

Verdict - Rubbish


Another hit from the musical film "Evita" which is the most painfully boring film I've ever seen. Part of the painfully boring watching of the film was sitting through this painfully boring song. 

Verdict - Rubbish


This was a charity record in the aftermath of the Dunblane school massacre that happened earlier on that year. "Knockin' On Heaven's Door" is a cover of the Bob Dylan song with a new verse added and "Throw These Guns Away" was an originally composition written by Ted Christopher who sang on both songs. Like with most charity records, musically it's not very good.

Verdict - Rubbish Rubbish


What had become apparent by this point was that not only were the Spice Girls here to stay, but they were almost inevitably going to top the charts with everything they release. I knew someone who bought this single because you could see Geri's legs on the cover, that's how effective their marketing seemed to be. It even made its was onto the Christmas episode of "Only Fools And Horses". Musically though it's really poor. 

Verdict - Rubbish

If we give the records which were good 1 point each and those which were OK half a point, the final score is 11.5/30, or 35%. Same as last week with one good record out and one in.

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