Christmas Charts Rated: 1983

Top 40

Best Song: Howard Jones - What Is Love

This was the 2nd Top 40 hit for Howard Jones and his highest charting. It appeared on an 80s compilation I bought years ago and whilst I already knew this record at the time, it was from listening to the compilation that I really got into it. 

Worst Song: Kenny Rogers And Dolly Parton - Islands In The Stream

Following the backlash against disco, the Bee Gees went behind the scenes writing songs for others. This was one of those records which was originally written for Diana Ross but ended up going to country singers Kenny Rogers and Dolly Parton. It's therefore a country style version of a non-country record, sounds awful.

Top 40 Review

It had been a decade since Slade had the Christmas number one with "Merry Xmas Everybody" and they were back with that same record but stalled at 20 this time. They fared better with their new song "My Oh My" which was Christmas number two. It was beaten by an acapella cover of Yazoo's "Only You" by The Flying Pickets. No points for any of these.

Yazoo themselves were finished by this point, but Yazoo member Vince Clarke was back with his next project The Assembly. Their only Top 40 hit was "Never Never" which featured Feargal Sharkey on vocals, a great record and was a strong candidate for best song.

There were 7 Christmas records in this Top 40. The highest charting was "2000 Miles" by The Pretenders. There was Elton John with his lesser known Christmas record "Cold As Christmas". Then there were novelty hits from Dennis Waterman And George Cole, Frank Kelly, Jingle Belles and Santa Claus And The Christmas Trees. All zeroes once again.

There was one further novelty hit that had nothing to do with Christmas which was "Rat Rapping (Brilliant Isn't It)" by Roland Rat Superstar!

There were 4 synth pop records and its full marks from all 4. In addition to the already mentioned Howard Jones and The Assembly records we had hits from The Thompson Twins and Tears For Fears.

There are 3 acts who contributed 1.5 points each. Billy Joel got full marks for "Tell Her About It" which is a bit cheesy but enjoyable. He also got half a mark for "Uptown Girl" which is even cheesier and one I used to enjoy a lot until I heard it too many times but I still find it alright.

Culture Club were at number 3 with "Victims" which is a fantastic tune and much darker than their average record and gets full marks. There's also the ever familiar "Karma Chameleon" which is cheesy and overplayed but holds a bit of nostalgia for me. 

Finally there's Paul McCartney with what was his future chart topper "Pipes of Peace" which admittedly sounds a bit out of date for the 80s but it's not a bad record. There was also his collaboration with Michael Jackson "Say Say Say" which is a good uplifting number.

Michael Jackson himself has another hit in the Top 40 with "Thriller" which I've never thought much of and it isn't helped by the ridiculously long video.

Given the quantity of your stereotypical nonsense that gets in the charts at Christmas we end up with a pretty respectable score.

Score: 13.5

Table

It just falls below the best year score, but we're still pretty consistent in the 80s so far:

Top 30 in 1995 Reviewed: Week 24

Here's my weekly look at the Top 30 from 28 years ago. The plan is for these posts to go out at 17:30 on a Wednesday.

Here is the Top 40 in full.

Obviously some of the records will be the same as last week so therefore the review will be the same for these. I've indicated which ones are new so you can skip the others if you read last weeks post.

Once again my opinions are inevitably going to differ from other people, but I'm not trying to convince anyone something is good or rubbish, I'm simply giving my opinion.

So this is the top 30 from this week in 1995 with my verdict on each record:

30. Judy Cheeks - You're The Story Of My Life / As Long As You're Good To Me (New)

The final original Top 40 hit to date for Judy Cheeks. We have a ballad on one side and a dance tune on the other side. I prefer the dance tune but the ballad isn't bad either.

Verdict - Good / Good

29. Montell Jordan - This Is How We Do It

When this record first came out I thought that Montell Jordan may have been a basketball player who made a record. The fact he was so tall and had the surname Jordan would have been logical reasons why. That said, the fact is too good to be by a sportsman really.

Verdict - Good

28. Paula Abdul - My Love Is For Real (New)

Paula Abdul in 1995? It had been 3 years since we'd last seen Paula Abdul in the Top 40 and this would be her final Top 40 hit to date. It was also the only Top 40 hit for Paula Abdul that she wrote herself. I prefer the Strike cover but this is decent enough.

Verdict - Good

27. Reef - Naked

Reef were a band the rock crowd were getting into at the time and was one of the reasons I stopped listening to rock and got into rave instead. I thought their music was too soft but in the case of this record it's a complete non-entity. 

Verdict - Rubbish

26. Livin' Joy - Dreamer

The Top 40 debut and only chart topper for Livin Joy which is also the hit they're most famous for. It's a commercial dance record no doubt and I've perhaps heard this too many times in my life by now. It does however push the right buttons to make it great fun to listen to.

Verdict - Good

25. Duran Duran - White Lines (Don't Do It) (New)

I love the original "White Lines (Don't Do It)" by Grandmaster & Melle Mel and this cover completely ruins it. I can live with the rock element being added to it but the singing of the lines that were originally rapped is just terrible.

Verdict - Rubbish

24. Black Grape - Reverend Black Grape

Black Grape was what Shaun Ryder and Bez did after the Happy Mondays. This was their Top 40 debut. It's a funky number and I'm not sure whether Shaun Ryder is trying to sing or rap it. A decent record nonetheless.

Verdict - Good

23. Bitty McLean - We've Only Just Begun (New)

The final Top 40 hit to date for Bitty McLean and once again it's a cover done reggae style. It's a formula that works though and whilst it's nothing exceptional it's still great fun to listen to.

Verdict - Good

22. McAlmont And Butler - Yes

Bernard Butler left Suede in 1994 and then formed a duo with David McAlmont. This was their Top 40 debut and the record they're best known for. Whilst this also falls under the britpop banner it's very different to Suede. That's a good thing.

Verdict - Good

21. Ladysmith Black Mambazo ft China Black - Swing Low Sweet Chariot

I've never liked rugby as a sport and have never watched the rugby world cup in my life. The way to know it was happening was a version of this song being in the charts. It do find it somewhat baffling that rugby prides itself on being a hardcore sport yet it gets represented musically by such a namby pamby song.

Verdict - Rubbish

20. The Nightcrawlers ft John Reid - Surrender Your Love

After the eventual success of "Push The Feeling On" courtesy of a MK remix, The Nightcrawlers reunited with MK for this follow up which very much follows the same formula. The main difference is that it's nowhere near as catchy, but then that's what makes it good in its own way.

Verdict - Good

19. Joy Division - Love Will Tear Us Apart (New)

This was originally a Top 40 hit back in 1980 but was rereleased to promote a greatest hits album. One of those all time classics that I never get tired of. I love the way it is both dark and uplifting at the same time.

Verdict - Good

18. Annie Lennox - A Whiter Shade Of Pale

This was originally a chart topper for Procol Harum back in the 60s and is one of the all time great 60s records in my opinion. It's therefore going to be very difficult to cover this record without ruining it. Inevitably then this cover is a bit shit.

Verdict - Rubbish

17. The Chemical Brothers - Leave Home (New)

The Top 40 debut for The Chemical Brothers who had just changed their name from The Dust Brothers. It's one of those records that can be enjoyed by both rock and dance music fans. As I was transitioning from rock to dance it was almost the perfect record to like.

Verdict - Good

16. Ali Campbell - That Look In Your Eye

The debut solo Top 40 hit for Ali Campbell which was also his biggest. It features uncredited vocals from Pamela Starks. The only resemblance it has to a UB40 record is Ali Campbell's singing, it's very much a pop record otherwise. It's also how a pop record should be done.

Verdict - Good

15. The Outhere Brothers - Boom Boom Boom (New)

If I had to pick a record to sum up the summer of 1995 then this would probably be it. This was also my favourite of The Outhere Brothers hits. 

Verdict - Good

14. Billie Ray Martin - Your Loving Arms

The solo Top 40 debut for Billie Ray Martin who had previously been in the Top 40 as the singer for Electribe 101. Initially reaction to hearing that there was a singer called Billie Ray Martin was not that achy breaky heart bloke again. It was a different Billie Ray though, a German female as opposed to an American male. It couldn't be any more different, but it's almost as annoying as "Achy Breaky Heart".

Verdict - Rubbish

13. Edwyn Collins - A Girl Like You (New)

The solo Top 40 debut for Edwyn Collins who had previous been in the Top 40 as part of Orange Juice. This record is all about the guitar, I love the way it basically repeats the lines that he sings. The rest of the guitaring is great as well.

Verdict - Good

12. East 17 - Hold My Body Tight (New)

The final single to be take from the "Steam" album. It's predominantly Brian Harvey singing but does also feature a short Tony Mortimer rap and also has a rap from Terry Coldwell. We were used to Terry being in the background but he's actually a pretty decent rapper.

Verdict - Good

11. Wet Wet Wet - Don't Want To Forgive Me Now (New)

Wet Wet Wet were enjoying a revival off the back of the success of "Love I All Around" with this being their 3rd Top 10 hit in a row, something they hadn't managed since their first 3 singles back in 1987. I do quite like it.

Verdict - Good

10. Jam And Spoon ft Plavka - Right In The Night (Fall In Love With Music)

The Top 40 debut for Jam & Spoon which first charted in 1994. It's their highest charting hit and the one they're best known for. It's nowhere near as good as their less successful records from 1995 and it's difficult to not make the comparison. If I ask myself if it's better than "Don't Make Me Wait" by Loveland ft Rachel McFarlane though I'd say yes it probably is.

Verdict - Good

9. Perez 'Prez' Prado And His Orchestra - Guaglione

A record from 1958 that finally entered the charts after appearing on the Guinness advert. Perez 'Prez' Prado sadly didn't live to see this records success as he died in 1989. I'm not sure I was aware of just how old this record was at the time and when I hear it I very much think 1995.

Verdict - Good

8. Scatman John - Scatman (Ski-Ba-Bop-Ba-Dop-Bop)

I don't think anyone saw this one coming. A eurodance record that's rapped by a 53 year old bloke with a stutter. This record is about as 1995 as they come even though it was originally recorded in 1994. What a tune though.

Verdict - Good

7. Whigfield - Think Of You

Whigfield is best known for her chart topping debut "Saturday Night" which is an irritating record. Then came "Another Day" which is basically the same tune with different lyrics. Then came this which made me think what the fuck, I like this Whigfield record. It's still cheesy don't get me wrong, but in a good way. Those who remember it are likely to remember it for the line "I need you inside me tonight".

Verdict - Good

6. Bon Jovi - This Ain't A Love Song

I was really critical of this song at the time. It's called "This Ain't A Love Song" but it clearly is one, something I'd shout when I'd hear it. I was still very much in my anti-Bon Jovi phase. In reality though this is one of my favourite Bon Jovi records and a good one to scream your lungs out to.

Verdict - Good

5. Michael Jackson And Janet Jackson - Scream

Michael Jackson first made a name for himself singing with his brothers. Now here he is singing with his sister. The issue I have with this record is it's over the top like a lot of his records are. If I put that to one side though and concentrate on the music alone then I like it if I'm in the right mood.

Verdict - Good

4. Baby D - I Need Your Loving (Everybody's Got To Learn Sometime)

The follow up to the chart topping "Let Me Be Your Fantasy" which is a rave version of the Korgis record. There were other rave versions of the same record also going round at the same time. It lends itself well to it though I have to say.

Verdict - Good

3. Pulp - Common People

Pulp formed in the 70s but it took until 1994 for them to get their first Top 40 hit. It was this record though that made them a household name. I wasn't keen on this record at first, then it grew on me a bit but it's taken quite a few years for me to concede that I do quite like it.

Verdict - Good

2. U2 - Hold Me, Thrill Me, Kiss Me, Kill Me (New)

This record was famously featured on the soundtrack to "Batman Forever". It's a crap film like all the Batman films are but the music is good. I love the intro/outro riff to this.

Verdict - Good

1. Robson And Jerome - Unchained Melody / White Cliffs Of Dover

Whilst I generally have a favourable opinion of music from 1995 I'm also conscious that there was also rubbish in the charts that year with Robson & Jerome in particular that springs to mind. This was their Top 40 debut which came about after their Soldier Soldier characters sang it on the show.

Verdict - Rubbish / Rubbish

If we give the records which were good 1 point each and those which were OK half a point, the final score is 24/30, or 80%. The score keeps climbing.

UK Number 40s: Jann Arden - Insensitive (1996)

 

This record reached number 12 in the Billboard 100 making it the highest charting UK number 40 on the Billboard 100 since the "Heartache Tonight" by The Eagles in 1979 which was an American chart topper.

Perhaps the reason this record only made number 40 was the fact it was already 2 years old by this point. It was on her 1994 album "Living Under June" and topped the charts in her native Canada as well as Australia.

It therefore may be an obscure record in the UK but it's not an obscure record internationally. I can vouch for that from the days I listened to 181fm, an American 90s radio station on which this would often appear.

This was her only charting single in the UK and other charts outside of Canada. In Canada though she was still getting into the charts as late as 2010 and is still active on the music scene today.

Top 30 in 1993 Reviewed: Week 24

Here's my weekly look at the Top 30 from 30 years ago. The plan is for these posts to go out at 17:30 on a Sunday.

Here is the Top 40 in full.

Obviously some of the records will be the same as last week so therefore the review will be the same for these. I've indicated which ones are new so you can skip the others if you read last weeks post.

Once again my opinions are inevitably going to differ from other people, but I'm not trying to convince anyone something is good or rubbish, I'm simply giving my opinion.

So this is the top 30 from this week in 1993 with my verdict on each record:

30. Bryan Ferry - Will You Love Me Tomorrow

This is the final Top 40 hit to date for Bryan Ferry. Like with much of his solo career, it's a cover. He's definitely made it his own, it sounds very different to the Shirelles original version. At the same time though he's made it rather boring.

Verdict - Rubbish

29. Cliff Richard - Human Work Of Art (New)

The hits just kept coming for Cliff Richard and this is another one I have absolutely no recollection of and will have probably forgotten by the time you're reading this.

Verdict - Rubbish

28. Manic Street Preachers - From Despair To Where (New)

This was the lead single from the "Gold Against the Soul" album which the band themselves appear to not think much of. It's a bit namby pamby for my liking and got me questioning why the Manic Street Preachers came under the metal section in my Encyclopedia of Rock.

Verdict - Rubbish

27. Tears For Fears - Break It Down Again

This was the 2nd single where Tears For Fears was Roland Orzabal on his own. It was also their penultimate Top 40 hit of the 90s and final Top 40 hit to date to reach the Top 30. It has a good build up in it and delivers in full.

Verdict - Good 

26. Shabba Ranks ft Maxi Priest - Housecall

Now Shabba Ranks had become a household name off the back of "Mr. Loverman" this record was back in the Top 40 having originally made 31 in 1991. Despite being the featured artist Maxi Priest appears to have the lions share of the vocals on this one. Can't really get into it though.

Verdict - Rubbish

25. Sister Sledge - Thinking Of You (New)

Here we have yet another remix of a Sister Sledge record in 1993. This one works better as a remix though which is probably why it's been sampled in a number of dance record. It probably helps that the original is decent too.

Verdict - Good 

24. The Time Frequency - The Power Zone EP (New)

The 2nd Top 40 hit for The Time Frequency and first to make the Top 30. They're a Scottish techno act led by Jon Campbell. The Scottish scene had it's own sound which was more bouncy. "The Power Zone" is an instrumental which is a good thing in my book.

Verdict - Good

23. Jungle Book - The Jungle Book Groove

Around 18 months after the dreadful UK Mixmasters version of "Bare Necessities" we get this Jungle Book megamix which includes this record. Incidentally this reached the same position. Again it's dreadful.

Verdict - Rubbish

22. Bon Jovi - In These Arms

The 3rd single from the "Keep the Faith" album. Bon Jovi were my 3rd favourite band at the time behind Guns N Roses and INXS. This was one of my favourites from said album. What I like the most about this record is the drumming into the chorus.

Verdict - Good

21. Sade - No Ordinary Love

There seemed to be a lot of 80s acts making a brief comeback in 1992. We can add Sade to that list, though this was the penultimate Sade Top 40 hit to date. It's also the 2nd highest charting. Doesn't really have enough about it for me to truly like it, but it's not bad.

Verdict - OK

20. REM - Everybody Hurts

REM were I band I paid attention to in late 1992/early 1993. I remember "Drive", "Man on the Moon" and "The Sidewinder Sleeps Tonight" being released very well. Yet this record came next and made the Top 10 unlike those mentioned and it completely passed me by. I'd heard it by the summer and was somewhat baffled why I missed it the first time round. Looking at the history books (aka the internet) though I now know I would have been on holiday when this appeared on Top of the Pops. I don't mind it, but I've heard much better from them.

Verdict - OK

19. A-ha - Dark Is The Night

On Popmaster they like asking questions about A-ha records which came after their 90s heyday. This is one of those records and one could be forgiven for having no recollection of it. I think they had reached the point where they could put out any old crap and they had enough fans to buy it. 

Verdict - Rubbish

18. Therapy? - Face The Strange (EP) (New)

The lead track from this EP was "Turn". The lyrics to the chorus are "You turn and face the strange" so that means it's easy to think of the song as being called "Face the Strange" rather than "Turn". It's from what was the yet to be released "Troublegum" album. I do wonder whether this would have been a single had the "Troublegum" album been complete at the time because it seems an odd choice for a single compared to other tracks. I love that whole album though.

Verdict - Good

17. Janet Jackson - That's The Way Love Goes

This was the biggest Janet Jackson solo hit and arguably her best known record. Once again Jimmy Jam and Terry Lewis are on songwriting duties. I've never understood the hype about this record though, it's pretty poor in my opinion. Sounds very much like background music.

Verdict - Rubbish

16. George Michael And Queen With Lisa Stansfield - Five Live (EP)

When this topped the charts several people pointed this out to me thinking I was still a Queen fan. I'd reply I don't care, I'm a Guns n Roses fan now. I also recall a school assembly where the headmaster asked one of the younger teachers who was at number one in the charts and she said The Bluebells which prompted most of the kids to say no it isn't, it's Queen. It also appeared as a question on a quiz at youth club, if we answered George Michael and Queen or just George Michael we got the points, if we just answered Queen we didn't. Anyway I may have tried avoiding it at the time but it's a pretty decent cover. 

Verdict - Good

15. House Of Pain - Jump Around / Top O' The Morning To Ya

"Jump Around" is of course the best known House of Pain record and was enjoying greater success the second time round having originally charted at 32 the previous year. I still like it, but it has been overplayed over the years. I recall this being played on a Saturday night out and my mate saying wow tune. I on the other hand couldn't get excited about hearing a tune I was hearing every Saturday night being played on a Saturday night. I would say "Top O' The Morning To Ya" is less radio friendly, but that's a good thing.

Verdict - Good / Good

14. Tina Turner - I Don't Wanna Fight

At this point Lulu had a Top 40 career spanning 29 years and 14 hits, but she had no hits as songwriter until this record. It sounds nothing like a Lulu record, but as she hadn't written any of her hits to this point I guess you couldn't really determine what she'd be like as a songwriter. Anyway, not my cup of tea.

Verdict - Rubbish

13. Chaka Demus And Pliers - Tease Me (New)

The Top 40 debut for Chaka Demus & Pliers. This was one of many more radio friendly reggae records that charted in 1993. It's almost the blueprint on how to make a record reggae style.

Verdict - Good

12. Jamiroquai - Blow Your Mind

The 2nd Top 40 hit for Jamiroquai. I'd forgotten how good the bass was on this record. The blend of a record being quite laid back with a funky bassline works really well. 

Verdict - Good

11. 2 Unlimited - Tribal Dance

In the early part of the 21st century there were lots of cheesy eurodance records that came under the trance banner. This is possibly where all that started as this is essentially trance music of the cheesy eurodance variety. To be fair it's better than many of those 21st century records but it's still crap.

Verdict - Rubbish

10. Snap! ft Niki Harris - Do You See The Light (Looking For...) (New)

With eurodance music increasing in popularity in 1993 Snap! appear to be right in their element here. By the mid to late 90s I saw this as being the ultimate eurodance record that hadn't aged well at all. Now we're 30 years down the line and it still hasn't aged well.

Verdict - Rubbish

9. Lisa Stansfield - In All The Right Places

It's a bad sign when you release a new record and it enters the charts lower than your previous record. That's what's happened here with the "Five Live EP" at number 6 when this entered the charts. That said it did come pretty soon after and it would become the 4th highest charting record for Lisa Stansfield. The record itself though is a boring ballad.

Verdict - Rubbish

8. Louchie Lou And Michie One - Shout (It Out)

This was the Top 40 debut for Louchie Lou & Michie One which is basically a cover of the Isley Brothers record done ragga style. I think all that achieved was to remind people that the original was much better.

Verdict - Rubbish

7. Pet Shop Boys - Can You Forgive Her? (New)

I can't help but think of "Go West" as being the lead single from the "Very" album but the lead single was this. It's a similar story for the "Bilingual" and "Nightlife" albums but more on that when I get to them. 

Verdict - Good

6. Haddaway - What Is Love

This is an iconic 90s record that everybody remembers. My memory of this record was having a teacher called Mrs Hathaway who we started calling Mrs Haddaway which led to people randomly singing it in her lessons. That said, I've always considered it to be a bit crap and still think the same.

Verdict - Rubbish

5. Green Jelly - Three Little Pigs

You can't knock this record for originality. The story of the three little pigs with a modern twist and done rock style. It's a dreadful record, but that's the point. They even acknowledge that fact at the end of the record.

Verdict - Rubbish

4. Inner Circle - Sweat (A La La La La Long)

This one reminds me of school discos. Everyone would sing along to this and I don't think too many of us really knew what it was about. Another thing I didn't know at the time was that Inner Circle formed in 1968 and had previous been in the Top 40 in 1979. Despite that, this tune has early 90s written all over it.

Verdict - Good

3. The Spin Doctors - Two Princes

There was a period of time in 1993 when The Spin Doctors were my 10th favourite band and it was because of this record alone. The rest of my Top 10 was always changing and they dropped out when I could easily name 10 bands who were better. I would say their placing at number 10 was more symbolic of me thinking this is a solid decent record but only a nitwit would think it's the best song ever.

Verdict - Good

2. Ace Of Base - All That She Wants

I remember hearing this for the first time on the Big Breakfast and then hearing other singing it later on that day. It's a pretty catchy record and now I know it was produced by Denniz Pop that was clearly the point. I loved this record at the time and still like it even though I've perhaps heard it too many times.

Verdict - Good

1. UB40 - (I Can't Help) Falling In Love With You

At the time I recall someone accusing me of only liking this record because it was at number one. If anything that would have been a reason for me to not like it. UB40 do divide opinion, some say how can you take a reggae band from Birmingham who do lots of covers seriously whereas others say doesn't it really matter it's good to listen to. I fit the latter category.

Verdict - Good

If we give the records which were good 1 point each and those which were OK half a point, the final score is 15/30, or 50%. With July approaching I feel the next couple of weeks won't be great.

Top 30 in 1996 Reviewed: Week 23

Here's my weekly look at the Top 30 from 27 years ago. The plan is for these posts to go out at 17:30 on a Friday.

Here is the Top 40 in full.

Obviously some of the records will be the same as last week so therefore the review will be the same for these. I've indicated which ones are new so you can skip the others if you read last weeks post.

Once again my opinions are inevitably going to differ from other people, but I'm not trying to convince anyone something is good or rubbish, I'm simply giving my opinion.

So this is the top 30 from this week in 1996 with my verdict on each record:

30. The Smashing Pumpkins - Tonight, Tonight

This was the 5th Top 40 hit for The Smashing Pumpkins and their first Top 10 and biggest hit to date. I wouldn't say it's a surprise this was their biggest hit, it's probably the most radio friendly. The orchestra gives it another edge and there's a sense of relief then the chorus kicks in.

Verdict - Good

29. Robert Miles - Children

A record you definitely couldn't avoid hearing in 1996, but what a tune. Like many dance records at the time, this was already over a year old by the time it was released. It's one of those tunes you can sit back and relax to but also get up and dance to, and I've done both.

Verdict - Good

28. LL Cool J - Doin' It

LL Cool J records have generally been on the more commercial side of rap. That's not always a bad thing, he's made some decent records that very much fit the commercial category. It does however mean inevitably some record will me too much in that respect and this is one of them. 

Verdict - Rubbish

27. Gloria Estefan - Reach

When it was the Barcelona Olympics in 1992 I was watching pretty much every day. I barely watched any of the following Olympics in Atlanta in 1996 to the point I don't even remember this, the official record of the Olympics. Not sure why it was released this far in advance of the Olympics though. It's predictably dull.

Verdict - Rubbish

26. Rollo Goes Spiritual/Pauline Taylor - Let This Be A Prayer (New)

The 2nd and final Top 40 hit to date for Rollo but he would have many more as part of Faithless. It was co-written by Sister Bliss so it's kind of a Faithless record anyway. It's a chill out record which I'm not overly convinced by, but it's not bad.

Verdict - OK

25. Carl Cox - Sensual Sophis-Ti-Cat / The Player (New)

The penultimate Top 40 hit to date for Carl Cox and the last time he'll feature as his final one only made number 40. A memory I have of this record was it being on the radio and a friend who was into dance music appeared to not be impressed. When the DJ said it was Carl Cox though he started to have a more favourable view such is the power of the Carl Cox name. I on the other hand always considered both to be decent records.

Verdict - Good / Good

24. John Alford - Blue Moon / Only You

The concept of a "Londons Burning" actor doing a cover of "Smoke Gets In Your Eyes" is quite amusing. He should have left it at the though. Instead he does a further 2 reggae style covers as a double a-side which gave him his biggest hit to date. He wasn't finished yet either.

Verdict - Rubbish / Rubbish 

23. 1996 Manchester United FA Cup Squad - Move Move Move (The Red Tribe)

It had been 2 years since Man Utd topped the charts with "Come On You Reds" with the help of Status Quo. Now they'd gone all 2 Unlimited on this record around 3 years out of date. I guess one thing you can say is that David Beckham had some sort of music career before Posh Spice did.

Verdict - Rubbish

22. Monica - Before You Walk Out Of My Life (New)

One day I was in an independent record shop where there was a sale on. It was 3 for 2 and I bought 3 CDs that were priced at 50p each, so it was 3 CDs for £1. One of those albums was "Miss Thang" by Monica. The only tunes I knew from the album was this one and her debut hit "Don't Take It Personal (Just One Of Dem Days)". They turned out to be the only tracks on the album I liked.

Verdict - Good

21. M-Beat ft Jamiroquai - Do You Know Where You're Coming From

At the time I was thinking what the fuck, Jamiroquai have done a drum & bass record. Not only that but it's a decent drum & bass record instead. Then it made sense when I discovered it was a collaboration with M-Beat who brought jungle to the Top 40 in 1994. It was just the 5th drum & bass record to make the Top 40.

Verdict - Good

20. Suggs And Louchie Lou/Michie One - Cecilia

This Simon & Garfunkel cover was the biggest solo Top 40 hit for Suggs. It was also the biggest Top 40 hit for Louchie Lou and Michie One. To be honest I was never sure whether a record was a Suggs solo or a Madness record in the 90s, but on reflection there's a clear distinction in that Suggs solo records sound a bit of a joke.

Verdict - Rubbish

19. Lighthouse Family - Ocean Drive

This was the Top 40 debut for the Lighthouse Family in 1995 which made number 34. Following the chart success of "Lifted" this fared better when re-issued. I do like the soothing nature of the Lighthouse Family's music I have to say.

Verdict - Good

18. Metallica - Until It Sleeps

Metallica released 4 albums in the 80s and established themselves as one of the big thrash metal bands. Then in 1991 they released their self titled album that gave them mass appeal but alienated some of the original fans. It would be another 5 years until the next album came of which this was the lead single. They'd softened their sound even further and all of them now had short hair. I guess they were just moving with the times, but even as a non-metal fan I have to say this is pretty poor.

Verdict - Rubbish

17. Darren Day - Summer Holiday (New)

Oh dear. When a contestant chooses Cliff at the Movies as their bonus on Popmaster my default answer is "Summer Holiday" because that's the only one I know. There was a stage version in the 90s which starred Darren Day and this was taken from it. 

Verdict - Rubbish

16. Bryan Adams - The Only Thing That Looks Good On Me Is You

It had been nearly 5 years since he released his "Waking Up The Neighbours" album which contained a certain 16 week chart topper. He was seemingly ever present on the singles chart since then, but album wise it wasn't until now he was releasing this the lead single from his follow up album "18 Till I Die". It's a bit more uplifting than we'd previously been used to, but it's not great.

Verdict - Rubbish

15. Space - Female Of The Species (New)

The Top 40 debut for Space. When it comes to bands who fell under the Britpop banner I would say Space were one of the better ones. It's a bit different, the verses stand out really well and builds into a strong chorus. Great tune.

Verdict - Good

14. Backstreet Boys - Get Down (You're The One For Me)

The Backstreet Boys were part of the Childliners collective who charted with "The Gift Of Christmas". The name Backstreet Boys had been banded about prior to this as I recall, but this was their Top 40 debut. It's the formula we came to know to expect from the Backstreet Boys but this wasn't written by the usual Swedish songwriting team. 

Verdict - Rubbish

13. Tina Turner - On Silent Wings (New)

I do remember this record but haven't heard it for years so I wasn't sure what I'd make of it now. Not a lot is the answer. The bit where she sings the title distinguishes the song, but aside for that it's really a non-entity of a record.

Verdict - Rubbish

12. Dodgy - In A Room (New)

I remember this being big at the time until the follow up "Good Enough" overshadowed it. As a result I don't think I've heard it since 1996. It takes a while to get going but develops into a pretty decent record. I didn't think I'd be enjoying it this much after all these years.

Verdict - Good

11. Mark Morrison - Return Of The Mack

I remember when this first entered the charts it was at number six for three weeks in a row. It would eventually climb to number one, the first time a record climbed to number one rather than go straight in at number one for a while. I always found Mark Morrison quite hard to take seriously with the way he sang. Still not a bad record though.

Verdict - OK

10. George Michael - Fastlove

The 7th number one for George Michael and his final one to date. What stood out to me at the time was him using the word bullshit in the lyrics. That was rare in a pop song back then. It was an improvement on the seriously dull "Jesus To A Child", but that's not saying much.

Verdict - Rubbish

9. JX - There's Nothing I Won't Do

I'll be the first to admit this record hasn't aged very well. At the time though it was a great record and the nostalgia element means I still like it now. For me it's all about the build up when the beat first comes in. Then there's the short breakdown later on before the tune kicks in again. It was irresistible at the time.

Verdict - Good

8. Celine Dion - Because You Loved Me

Celine Dion was pretty well established as a chart act by this point and was mainly known for doing ballads. It therefore seemed almost inevitable really that she'd end up with a single written by Diane Warren and here it is. 

Verdict - Rubbish

7. Robert Miles - Fable (New)

The follow up to "Children" which was still in the Top 40 at the time. I remember being pretty sick of "Children" by this point as it was being played all the time. This record didn't sound all that different to "Children" so I didn't think much to it initially. I did start to like it eventually though.

Verdict - Good

6. Tony Rich Project - Nobody Knows

This was a record I never liked at the time, partly because with a name like the Tony Rich Project I was expecting a dance record but it wasn't. Then when I was going through my R&B phase I started liking it. What do I think of it now though? Well first of all I could have sworn it was written by Babyface but it wasn't, though it did come out on his label and the songwriters have seemingly done nothing else so you never know. The fact it sounds like a record Babyface could have done himself though is a good thing.

Verdict - Good

5. Louise - Naked (New)

I would say the solo career of Louise after she left Eternal got off to a slow start, but this was the record where she turned the corner. It's probably the best remembered hit of hers, though one thing I will say is her Top 40 performance shows her music career to be bigger than I remember it being. Maybe I'd trained myself to ignore it because it's shit.

Verdict - Rubbish

4. Gina G - Ooh Aah... Just A Little Bit

I remember watching "A Song for Europe" where a number of songs went to the public vote to decide which one should represent the country at the Eurovision Song Contest. Of all the songs on the show, this was my favourite and the voting public agreed. Admittedly it is a bit cheesy and did get played to death at the time. As far as Eurovision songs go though, I cannot think of a single one that I think is better than this. No doubt there will be Brit Pop fans reading this thinking I've now lost what little credibility I did have. But I listen to music for enjoyment, not credibility.

Verdict - Good

3. Peter Andre ft Bubbler Ranx - Mysterious Girl

The record that Peter Andre was best known for. It's a reggae style pop record that sounds a bit like its ripping off "Sweat" by Inner Circle. I remember this being in the charts when Peter Andre was presenting Top of the Pops and during the chart countdown he said it was "by Bubbler Ranx and me". It's not the worst record in the world, but I'm sick to death of it now and would happily never hear it again.

Verdict - Rubbish

2. Baddiel / Skinner / Lightning Seeds - Three Lions

As a general rule music and football do not mix. New Order however showed it is possible to make a decent football record. In theory there was no reason why the Lightning Seeds couldn't have done the same and it is liked by many, but not by me.

Verdict - Rubbish

1. Fugees - Killing Me Softly (New)

I remember this going straight into number one on the Top 40 countdown which was the first time I heard it. Initially from the intro I thought it was going to be a depressing song, but then the beats kicked in and I though hang on a minute this is actually quite good.

Verdict - Good

If we give the records which were good 1 point each and those which were OK half a point, the final score is 14/30, or 47%. Slight improvement over last week.

Christmas Charts Rated: 1986

Top 40

Best Song: Erasure - Sometimes

This was the Top 40 debut of Erasure which came after their first 3 singles failed to reach the Top 40. It put them on the music map and is one of their best known records. Despite the number of times I must have heard it over the years I'm yet to get bored of it which is a sign of a truly great record.

Worst Song: Kim Wilde - You Keep Me Hangin' On

This gave Kim Wilde her first Top 10 hit in over 5 years and no doubt helped her to have a few more Top 10's in the 80s. I like the original of this by The Supremes but this cover is absolutely terrible. All the soul has been taken out of it and replaced by a cheesy backing track and Kim Wilde's voice is nowhere near as good as Diana Ross.

Top 40 Review

1986 was one of 4 years in the 80s to score 14 points, but was the consistency there at Christmas time?

We'll begin with Christmas hits of which there was just one. This was "Santa Claus Is On The Dole" by Spitting Image which was a double a-side with "First Atheist Tabernacle Choir". It therefore is also a novelty record and there was just one further novelty record in "O' My Father Had A Rabbit" by Ray Moore. Both records get zero points.

Sticking with Spitting Image, there was also "Land Of Confusion" by Genesis which is famous for it's Spitting Image video. This one gets half marks.

The Christmas number one was "Reet Petite" by Jackie Wilson which is one of my favourite Christmas number ones. It beat "Caravan Of Love" by The Housemartins, perhaps the most famous Christmas number two that has nothing to do with Christmas but still gets played then. I do quite like it.

A record I'd like to give a shout to is "Breakout" by Swing Out Sister. It has to be one of the most 80s sounding 80s records, but in a good way. If I had to pick one record to sum up the 80s then that would probably be it.

Elsewhere we have a healthy number of points coming from the funk and soul records with none of them scoring zero. These include the only hits for Oran 'Juice' Jones and Gregory Abbott plus "Candy" by Cameo which is about as funky as they come.

Quite a few record in this Top 40 get half marks. Some of these fit the category of familiar but overplayed and acceptable without being outstanding. Examples include "Livin On A Prayer" by Bon Jovi and "Walk Like An Egyptian" by The Bangles.

One of the records I don't like is "Each Time You Break My Heart" by Nick Kamen, least of all because it was a record I couldn't think of when I was on Champions League Popmaster and could only think of his 2 lesser hits. I wouldn't have liked it anyway though.

All in all this chart was more like business as usual and this is reflected in the score.

Score: 14

Table

We continue to have consistency with the scores in the 80s at this early stage: