Thursday, 15 June 2023

Christmas Charts Rated: 1983

Top 40

Best Song: Howard Jones - What Is Love

This was the 2nd Top 40 hit for Howard Jones and his highest charting. It appeared on an 80s compilation I bought years ago and whilst I already knew this record at the time, it was from listening to the compilation that I really got into it. 

Worst Song: Kenny Rogers And Dolly Parton - Islands In The Stream

Following the backlash against disco, the Bee Gees went behind the scenes writing songs for others. This was one of those records which was originally written for Diana Ross but ended up going to country singers Kenny Rogers and Dolly Parton. It's therefore a country style version of a non-country record, sounds awful.

Top 40 Review

It had been a decade since Slade had the Christmas number one with "Merry Xmas Everybody" and they were back with that same record but stalled at 20 this time. They fared better with their new song "My Oh My" which was Christmas number two. It was beaten by an acapella cover of Yazoo's "Only You" by The Flying Pickets. No points for any of these.

Yazoo themselves were finished by this point, but Yazoo member Vince Clarke was back with his next project The Assembly. Their only Top 40 hit was "Never Never" which featured Feargal Sharkey on vocals, a great record and was a strong candidate for best song.

There were 7 Christmas records in this Top 40. The highest charting was "2000 Miles" by The Pretenders. There was Elton John with his lesser known Christmas record "Cold As Christmas". Then there were novelty hits from Dennis Waterman And George Cole, Frank Kelly, Jingle Belles and Santa Claus And The Christmas Trees. All zeroes once again.

There was one further novelty hit that had nothing to do with Christmas which was "Rat Rapping (Brilliant Isn't It)" by Roland Rat Superstar!

There were 4 synth pop records and its full marks from all 4. In addition to the already mentioned Howard Jones and The Assembly records we had hits from The Thompson Twins and Tears For Fears.

There are 3 acts who contributed 1.5 points each. Billy Joel got full marks for "Tell Her About It" which is a bit cheesy but enjoyable. He also got half a mark for "Uptown Girl" which is even cheesier and one I used to enjoy a lot until I heard it too many times but I still find it alright.

Culture Club were at number 3 with "Victims" which is a fantastic tune and much darker than their average record and gets full marks. There's also the ever familiar "Karma Chameleon" which is cheesy and overplayed but holds a bit of nostalgia for me. 

Finally there's Paul McCartney with what was his future chart topper "Pipes of Peace" which admittedly sounds a bit out of date for the 80s but it's not a bad record. There was also his collaboration with Michael Jackson "Say Say Say" which is a good uplifting number.

Michael Jackson himself has another hit in the Top 40 with "Thriller" which I've never thought much of and it isn't helped by the ridiculously long video.

Given the quantity of your stereotypical nonsense that gets in the charts at Christmas we end up with a pretty respectable score.

Score: 13.5

Table

It just falls below the best year score, but we're still pretty consistent in the 80s so far:



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